How ironic that I celebrated my 1 year anniversary of this blog by not blogging for two weeks? I can hardly believe that it has been a whole year. Honestly, I have really missed writing lately. There seems to be so many other things fighting for my time and my attention… cute, cuddly, hungry, sticky things during the day. At night, it’s just finding the balance between time with my sweet husband, my part time job, cleaning up from the day, laundry, taxes, (did you notice I skipped right over the 15th of April and tax season?), helping Matt with our new business, and the wonderful world of blogging. It’s all been a little much and consequently I haven’t been writing. I haven’t been working on my book either.
There has been a lot of other things going on in the Jones household, and I am going to talk about them as I go along. God has been teaching me a lot lately. A lot about faith. A lot about His goodness and trust. A lot about me.
Have you ever noticed that lessons in trust are not easy lessons to learn. I remember in university doing this “trust excercise”. It was supposed to help build teamwork and confidence in your team mate. You would stand with your back to your team mates and fall. You had to trust that they would catch you. I remember standing there when it was my turn and thinking, “I don’t know these people at all.” I didn’t really doubt that they would try to catch me. They weren’t mean (as far as I knew). I just doubted if they would be successful in their efforts. Would they put themselves in harms way if it looked like I was going to hit the floor? Honestly, I hated the trust excercise. I never did hit the floor, but I didn’t like being out of control. I didn’t like trusting strangers. I really didn’t like that I felt scared.
Unfortunately for me, I think there are remnants of the trust game throughout our lives. So many things are beyond our control. So many times it seems like we are falling backward only to find the arms of our wonderful God, gently catching us and making our world right again. This last month has felt like that for me. I have felt a little like I was falling blindly, praying for Him to catch me, and when He finally did this past weekend I just wanted to weep in relief and surrender.
Why do I doubt His faithfulness? Why do I question what extreme He would go to to catch me? Is is posssible that I still don’t know Him for who He really is? Do I still not know the incredible love that He has for me? It is only when I lose sight of His goodness that fear creeps in. But as He rights my world once again, I feel foolish for ever doubting Him. I regret the wasted moments that I gave to fear instead of to trust. I may not have known or trusted the other students who were given the task of catching me, but I do know my wonderful God. And He is big enough for me.
Which totally reminds me of this Geico (insurance) commercial which cracks me up every time. So since this took kind of a serious turn, here is a little humor for you at the end:
Thankfully, with God it is the other way round.
God bless,
Tracy